Hi Kylee,

This breakup up was a good thing that happened for a good reason. It doesn’t feel good, believe me I know. We have all heard that things happen for a reason. The problem is that as human beings, we want to know that reason right away, right now. I am guilty of that myself. I have since learned to understand that, for what ever the reason, all I have to know is that there is a reason, and I just let it go. I let it be. But this breakup has paved the way for you to discover new things, invite new people in your life etc. I don’t know why, but your post reminds me a quote by this guy named R.D. Laing. The quote, to me, seemed a little repetitive, but the more I read it the more it makes sense…

” The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little that we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts an deeds.”

When we get caught in a current of despair and uncertainty our judgement clouds the direction that we want to go. I think in your case the breakup understandably has caused you to not notice the meaning behind it. That meaning being that you have been freed from a presumably less than happy relationship. It is this emotional upheaval that prevents you from noticing that.

My advice is do not contact him. Doing so, IMHO, will serve to keep you anchored to the past thus preventing you from moving forward. In my past, with my many breakups, I am glad I did not contact my ex g/f’s, as tempting as it was. I knew that by trying to chase down answers from once upon a time kept me from being present and from moving forward. It made me so much stronger. For me, the breakups were devastating, which turned into a sting, which turned into a bruise, until it was all gone. Fully recovered. YAY! I would like to suggest doing something that has served me very well…Remind yourself how much you truly do love and care for you, and wish him well though the loving way that you know how to do.

Pearce Hawk