So back to that question. Even if the two didn’t change, one (or both) could become bored. If not – well, maybe that is that rare case of pairs celebrating their gold or emerald etc. marriages. Most often, though, throughout the course of one’s life, a person changes. If the other stays the same, then the question is how that first person’s change is compatible (and that goes both ways) with the other person? Both partners may change, then again, the question is how compatible they become now with each other’s changed self? Sometimes still compatible, sometimes not. Then their paths would diverge. I visualise that as two lines that have been interwoven, but now either run parallel to each other or one (or both of them) goes into a different direction. Sometimes people meet again and rekindle their romance; that would be shown as an intersection and the interweaving begun anew. That is how I now see it in my mind’s eye, a relationship between two people, and not just lovers, but also friends, good acquaintances, etc.

Okay, so here is a question, what do you think makes up a soulmate? I think that my wife and I are linked for whatever reason. She is my soulmate, during our 13 year hiatus when we had zero contact, she always had a place in my subconscious. She was the bar that every other woman I met/dated had to live up to. I none of those individuals even came close to making me feel the same as my wife. Sure there were some who had I had intense physical connection with, and some who I had great social chemistry with. But like my wife and I talk about we just fit, She is the key to my lock, and I ultimately believe that she can help me become the best version of myself. She tells me that I do the same for her, and I really believe her.

So here is the conundrum that I face, together her and I have fought many different obstacles, and this new one is just that. Another obstacle. The question that I ask myself, and not lightly, is am I willing to throw that connection away because she wants to explore her sexuality with another man. This is such a difficult question with so many layers. I know that you have said you would not be willing to share, and I would like to explore the reasons why in hopes of gaining a different perspective.

I have conflicting thoughts running through my head. What if by exploring the feelings that she has, increases the happiness in our relationship by 10. That would be beneficial to both of us. I know that there is also a risk that it could actually destroy our relationship. So my question is in what ways could our marriage be ruined by this?

Perspective, I enjoy taking pictures, It pleases me to take my camera out on a 4 hour hike in nature and just get lost. When I get home from one of these hikes, I have reduced my stress, re-centered my outlook on life, and am a much happier person.

What is the difference in the pleasure that I receive from my hike, and the pleasure one would receive from another person. If everything is out in the open and there is no deception and the trust is not being broken, Is there really a difference. (this also assumes that the physical/intimate relationship that my wife and I have isn’t affected, which is another one of the risks)

Just a few questions to try to narrow down some of these things that I am trying to address.

I hope you had a great evening, take care

Matt

• This reply was modified 7 years, 2 months ago by Matt.