Dear Monica:

When you place your self worth on reputation, on impressing other people, then you are always comparing and your self worth is dependent on that changing comparisons. Here you are superior; there you are inferior. In your high school you were superior; in KU you are inferior.

To feel better about yourself you “judge people… A lot, almost everyday. From their boyfriends… to their weird fashion choices… that looks so cheap… to (not being sent) overseas, I judge everyone when I feel like they are not up to (your) standards”-

But in KU, “People are better, prettier, smarter and nicer than me”

Your self worth is dependent on who you are comparing yourself with.

Quality formal education is a good thing. Nothing wrong with caring about clothing, fashion and traveling. It is a good thing to think ahead about career choices, wanting to make a good living. Thing is, to place your human value in such, is making your self value relative to changing circumstances. Here it is high, there it is low… and over there it is so-so.

If you keep thinking this way, you may want to move to a university of lower quality, one that accepts the …99% of the students that were rejected from SKY, students of far lesser financial means who dress way below your standards, students with boyfriends of even lesser standards…

OR change your way of thinking and see your value as a quality that is not dependent on reputation.

A quality of a different kind.

anita