Dear joanna:

It is a shame that the therapist you saw did not give you more time and attention so to learn about you and suggest ways to help you. Like you wrote, thinking brings suffering to an anxious person, the thoughts are like vehicles in the roadways of the brain, carrying the fear around and around.. and around. It used to help you to meditate, to disengage from thinking because taking a break from thinking is like ejecting the fear out of the vehicles, and to the side of the road. You get some peace.

You wrote that even when you don’t think, the anxiety is there anyway. Yes, it is there, ready for its next vehicle, its next ride. Thing is, the thoughts don’t have to include words: you look in the mirror, let’s say, and you pick on your face without thinking words, the “something is wrong with me/ with my face” is automatic, been played thousands of time. You feel the urge, no worded thoughts.

There is a way for you to feel much better. I know because I have suffered from significant anxiety for decades, OCD and other symptomology. I know anxiety, panic, compulsions. And there is a way to heal and manage, manage and heal. It takes time, work and patience with the process. Lots of patience.

At  one point along the way, you are no longer afraid to be afraid (the essence of panicking).

Have hope, I hope. Seek short term medication, it is sometimes what is needed. If you can see a psychotherapist (a quality one, this time), please do. Also, taking a long, fast daily walk can help, right at the times you feel especially anxious perhaps. Hot baths, if you can. A daily routine can help as well. Post again, anytime.

anita