Dear Samyukta:

The honest and straightforward way for her would have been to say to you: I feel hurt that you left the country, that you choose your professional life over our relationship. I wish you chose me! I feel angry at you for choosing your professional life over me!

Her way was: she felt angry at you and tried to hurt you. She made a gesture, a suicide gesture, and as a result you felt guilty. Feeling guilt is painful, and so she succeeded in her effort to hurt you.

Feeling responsible/ guilty over a person’s decision to commit suicide is a terrible guilt, isn’t it? On the other hand, feeling responsible for a person decision to make a gesture, that is… not so terrible of a guilt, is it?

(I see no valid responsibility on your part for either one: a gesture or the real act, if such was to be. Fortunately it was not).

anita