Dear Rowena:

You wrote that you don’t know if the trouble in your relationship with your husband are because of you or the relationship, meaning to me that you don’t know if the fault is on your part or his.

You wrote: ” He blames me for everything”- when one party blames the other for everything, it is the fault of the one doing the blaming. You post here not knowing if you are at fault, blameworthy, meaning you are considering that you may be at fault. When he blames you for everything, it means that he is not considering that he may be at fault.

Reads to me that he is taking unfair advantage of the fact that you shared with him honestly and openly about your past depression and anxiety, misusing this sharing to blame you for everything, labeling you mentally-unstable.

Leaving you after the traumatic birth, while you were unable to move, being on various drips and caterers, alone with your new baby is very irresponsible, incredibly irresponsible.

I agree with you, no need to “go on for the next 1,000,000 words”- from your account, clearly he is indeed “so cold and detached he takes zero responsibility”.

He blames you but he is the guilty party. How can a woman not be anxious when Alone (the title of your thread), with no support, hardly, and with a man who leaves her … alone at her most vulnerable time, after such a birth, putting your life at risk by doing so, as well as the baby’s.

You wrote that your previous marriage ended because you were raped? You mean that the previous husband blamed you for being raped? If that happened in your home country, were your family of any support and help to you then?

anita