Dear Claire:

These are my thoughts:

Aim at moving to a location with reliable, good public transportation, internet, phone, child nurseries, schools.. the services that you need for you and for your young children.

Remove the fact that you don’t drive and living in a secluded location as a motivation to associate with either man.

Aim at no longer living with the children’s father, placing a possible romantic/ physically intimate relationship, in his mind or in yours, in the past. No longer to be considered.

Maybe you are not aware of some resources to help you as a single mother and a no income household, government or private agencies, charity organizations. It is way, way better that you get help from such than to reach out to either man for help.

Take one step at a time. Your life is a mess right now but there is a way to simplify, to fix it, to untangle one knot at a time. Be patient, it will take some time but it can be done.

Once you remove unnecessary motivations to associate (and live with) either man, you will become less confused, more and more clear about how to proceed in relation to the two men.

anita