Dear Janet:

The fears you describe probably stem from experiences you had before meeting your husband and have nothing to do with his behavior. What people call intuition is partly past distressing experiences that we are afraid will happen again.

I think that it is a good thing that you look at your past behavior and that you want to prevent a problem that occurred before. Share with him about your anxiety”without sounding accusatory, or like a complete moron” – such sharing it very doable. You can practice what to say right here, on your thread, share responsibly, honestly, in a straight forward way and I will give you my input, if you’d like.

What you quoted telling him, “I’m insecure and need you to tell me nothing is going on even though rationally I know it isn’t”- doesn’t read accusatory or moronic to me. It can be part of your share to him.

anita