So some unfortunate news.

I thought today was going to be great, but it was the opposite.  He’s still not ready.

I gave him my speech, but it didn’t matter.  He said the thing that is effecting him the most his his last relationship.

He still feels hurt by what happened, how she treated him, and just can’t seem to get past it yet. He doesn’t have romantic feelings or anything for her, it’s just how she left him, and how he has all these guards up.  Sometimes when we have been out he will see someone that looks like her and it will throw off his whole night etc., and it makes him feel ‘gross’..that he’s with me, and is thinking about her.

I understand needing to be healthy to be in a relationship, but I don’t know how to let him go.  He says nothing has changed with his feelings for me, that he loves me and can see us together maybe in the future but not the near future, that he needs to work through his issues.  He said he doesnt want to lead me on, and should find someone else…but was crying and so upset saying all this stuff.  I know he loves me but just can’t seem to get past this.

I called him when I got home to talk again, and he explained more about why, which I guess helped me to understand more. But, didn’t make me feel any better really.  I asked if we could hang out next week, and he said yes, but wanted to do something where we wouldnt just be sitting crying all day (like today).  So we might go for a bike ride or something.  I told him ok, and said I wasn’t prepared to give up on him yet. He said ok thank you.

I just am still confused and heart broken.  On one hand he tells me to move on, but can’t really let me go.   He also said he doesn’t want to feel pressured either.  I don’t know what to do.  Do I hang out with him casually and just be neutral when we are together? And date other guys too and keep my options open?  But even thinking about being with another man breaks my heart, because I want him.