Dear dawn101:

I don’t think that expecting “truthfulness and openness” in a marriage is expecting too much, not if it was there before, that is, if he is capable of it.

You wrote in your original post: “As I felt like my husband has been disconnecting with me emotionally”- was he connected with you before and when did the disconnection occur?

It reads to me that it may be that he formed an emotional attachment to the secretary who is on leave. He liked her being the secretary and he misses her. Being at work is just not the same without her and the new secretary doesn’t substitute the one who is on leave, not the same feeling. I don’t think that it is abnormal or unusual for a married person to form an emotional attachment to a co worker. Possibly he is confused about his attachment, because he is a man, a married man, and she is a woman and a married one. Maybe he felt that he needed to hide this attachment from you because his feelings are wrong, unacceptable.

What do you think?

anita