When you experience your fear is it your inner voice telling you to leave and that you should feel guilt or “bad”? We all have an internal voice (called inner critic by Dr. Firestone, psychotherapist and author of Concour Your Inner Critic), but if you catch this inner critic, talk back to it. Use facts instead of fears to determine if your fear is valid. Also, when you start to feel overcome, take a few slow deep breaths to calm your anxiety. As for the kids, don’t let things like this derail you. There will be many more opportunities to see them. Instead, reframe your experience as “Oh Mom, you know I love spending time with the kids, but I hope you all enjoyed yourselves!” In other words, you are stating what’s true for you, but acknowledging the needs and experiences of others. This awareness and understanding will help you be more flexible and calm. You want to see the kids because it brings you joy, but you and you alone are responsible for your happiness and then you get to share that happiness with others. This is a shift in perspective, but necessary for relationship success. I would recommend reading and practicing some mindfulness (living in the now). This website has many excellent articles. You may also visit my site, affinity4us.com. Sometimes a shift in perspective with practice is all that is needed. As for working things out together, yes it is possible and can work very well. Ideally both of you take personal responsibility for your feelings and work on your own fears and concerns independently to become your best self (confident, secure, positive) and together, work through triggers that surface in your relationship and support each other’s efforts without blame or defensiveness. Fears and defenses are deep and take practice to confront and release but you can if you remain open and dedicated. I wish you much success in you positive and healthy journey!