Dear Anita,

Thank you for replying! <3

To be honest, at first, I never knew that the “in love” feelings can disappear. I thought that it will always be there and that is what love is. But now, I am struggling since I do not have the feelings anymore but I still have the desire to love.

Something seems to be blocking me from loving – it does not feel right. It is so odd because as what Jaz described, I have no reasons as to WHY I am feeling like this.. the day before I felt like this, I was undeniably happy. And so I read books in the library and searched online about love, being a choice not a feeling. I still choose to love but I guess I am still not used to loving without feelings, that is why I always feel guilt and confusion.

The thoughts that accompany these negative feelings is that, “If the love is still there, why has it become so hard?”, “Why is this happening to me? to us? I want to be happy with him”, “There must be a girl out there who can love him better than me”, “he deserves more”, “If this is true love, it must be easy”, “I do not want to make the biggest mistake in my life which is letting go of someone I really love”. The thoughts go on and on… I often get angry with my self for being this way.

I am so confused because this happened so sudden and real quick. I am scared.

(I’ve read Jaz’s post on November 2, then after reading the comments, I found strength. I felt old self coming back until after 5days. The confusion came back.)