Dear Jay-me:

You wrote: “I always want to inform him of what is going on with his child, as he is also always calling to hear how is he doing”-

For what purpose do you want to inform him about his child? Informing him makes no difference to your child as there is no relationship between him and the man. If the man was financing his child, maybe I would see a reason to inform him of anything. But without a relationship and without any financial help, there is no benefit to your child from such informing.

As to his calling to hear how the child is doing, again: how does this benefit his child? It does not.

The man is an uncaring and irresponsible father. He probably feels better that you inform him and he probably feels he is a good father for calling and asking. And so, he feels okay that he doesn’t work and doesn’t support the child financially, that he doesn’t see him for two years…

By informing him and answering his calls you help him feel okay about the way things are, and so, you are only hurting yourself. Maybe if you didn’t inform him and didn’t answer his calls, maybe then he will feel a bit uncomfortable and motivated to practically be a father in some way. Maybe.

My recommendation therefore: stop all contact with the man. Except through an attorney if legal action is possible.

anita