Hi Nia,

I’m sorry for your pain.  In your post you mentioned that your ex is emotionally abusive and manipulative. He used you as a rebound.  With these facts, you’re still waiting for him to give  you closure? What could he say to you that would make you feel better?  You haven’t lost anything because it’s not love if he doesn’t love you back.  You need to get a grip of reality. He’ll run back to you when things aren’t going well with his gf.  Are you going put your life on hold until he does? I’m sorry to sound so harsh but that’s reality. It doesn’t matter how great or bad a relationship we had, sometimes we never get closure from the other person because no matter what they tell us, we’d never be satisfied with their answers for cheating/emotionally unavailable/already married/FWB/abandonment or whatever.  It’s up to us to love and forgive ourselves. No one can give you your peace back except you so stop giving him so much power over you. Remember that he’s not doing anything to you because he has already blocked you. It’s YOU who is torturing yourself – having your mom contact him and fantasying about a relationship that didn’t exist.

From what I read, you have very little regards for yourself that you NEED  him to give you closure and that his actions  (of  a douchebag) aren’t enough for you to run like he11. Until you’re able to love, cherish, and appreciate yourself, the hope of finding someone who will is nil. If I were you, I’d work on yourself so that you are best placed to make healthy choices about who you invite into your life. This will prevent you from selling yourself short.

These two articles hit me like a brick and probably what helped set me free along with the great advice I received from others here.  Best of luck to you.

Letting Go of a Relationship That Doesn’t Exist

Sitting On The Fence: The Position You Adopt When You Fear Making Mistakes By Committing To Decisions