Dear liz:

You asked: “When will these  meds work and fix  him already? Will they ever really fix him?

My answer: no. Is there any psychiatrist out there who claims anti-depressants fix a person? If there is  such, I doubt his/ her competence  and integrity.

Your boyfriend’s depression, irritability, anxiety, these are due to thousands of neuropathways in his brain and  no drug can change those, not even a single pathway. It takes a lot of work through a  whole lot of time, often with the help of a quality psychotherapist to change these pathways.

You wrote: “I love him, and I believe the ‘him’ I  first  met is still there, just under a cloud  of depression”-

that is  a correct observation, I believe: the  loving and lovable person under any person’s unloving behavior is still there. We  all start loving.

There is no magic to uncover that loving  part of him and have that part  be there on a reliable, dependable, consistent manner. Time alone will not make  that happen, neither will psychiatric drugs. His moving  to his hometown, to be  with his family and  past friends, was a move not congruent with healing. It  is within the context of  his family relationships that his loving part went  into hiding.

I hope you post again with your thoughts and feelings.

anita