Dear Junsheng:

You seem to believe that when there is a problem, it  is you who are the problem (“the problem is with me, and not her”

In the relationship with your ex girlfriend you presented yourself as The Guilty One and she as the guiltless, same  with your parents.

You can’t have healthy relationships when you automatically take  on responsibility for anything that goes wrong, for any distress, any problem, any unpleasantness. A healthy relationship has to include each party discussing and becoming  aware of their contribution to a problem.

We do not live in a world where all problems are caused by one Junsheng, do we?

I hope you explore this belief, this Core Belief you have,  in quality counseling. Until you do and then correct it, you can’t  have a healthy, loving relationship and you will continue to suffer greatly, as you have.

anita