Dear Ken:

Most likely you were not born clumsy, not being able to complete tasks or being slower than others in absorbing knowledge. Most likely this is what happened: you were the same as most other children, needing time to learn how to accomplish tasks correctly, over trial and error, with a parent’s encouragement.

Problem was your parent/s expected you to accomplish tasks correctly the first time, or the second, quicker than what is reasonable to expect. When you failed their unreasonable expectations, they criticized you, telling you that you are “not good with (your) hands”, that you are “clumsy and cannot even do a small thing”.

Children believe what their parents say, and so you believed it and your core beliefs were formed. Something else happened as they criticized you: anxiety. When anxious it takes more time to process and absorb information- this is true for every person. We process and absorb information best when calm.

The more anxious- the more time it takes and the less effective the processing and absorption.

Interestingly enough I was told the same thing you were told (quotes above) and I too spent an unbelievable amount of time studying, and so, I believed there was something wrong with me. It is only recently that I discovered, to my great surprise that I am not clumsy. And that I can do a lot of things and complete them well. I had no idea. But I have, in practice. It is proven.

I am also pretty good at processing information on these threads, like this one, yours. It doesn’t take me long.

How indeed limiting our core beliefs.

I greatly recommend quality psychotherapy for you so that you can explore your core beliefs and correct them. These core beliefs, unfortunately, were inflicted on you. But you are the only person who can initiate correcting them through work and patience, and persistence.

I hope you post again with your thoughts and feelings.

anita