You are right Anita, I am still very attached to the idea of her.  She was someone that was in my life every day for the last three year so I couldn’t see how it’s taking longer than usual to get over her. After the break up I initiated no contact and it seems like I’m having a hard time following through with it. I don’t know Anita, I tried to hard to be a positive force in her life and did everything I could with her in mind. It just saddened me frankly that she didn’t want me in this new part of her life and I just wished that she would have been able to communicate to me her worries. I’m sure we would have been able to work things out or at least have a falling out that wasn’t this abrupt and painful. Regardless I do know that we can never be in a relationship again.  I do wish her happiness in life and hope that I can begin to move forward with time. Even after two months, I do find myself breaking down from time to time but it is getting better every day.  It is so hard to move on from someone you selflessly threw yourself into and being told that is what created the feeling of suffocation. I can understand why and truthfully I will not try not to be so intense in my next relationship.  The redound into relationship dynamic that we had was never going to work out; I was always going to feel like I had the short end of everything regardless of how hard I tried. Perhaps it will be different in my next relationship in that the other person will chase me as well. my former relationship was still good in the sense that we enjoyed a lot of adventures and experiences together. I grew a lot for her but ultimately was most beneficial for me in the end. I am going to give up my former relationship to the universe so that I can begin to heal. In due time I do hope that she’s not the first thing I think of as I wake, that I can begin to open myself up to new experiences with other people as well. The relationship is over and it would be wise to remember that. I have been good with the no contact aspect of our break up and allowing her time and space to heal. Sorry if my thoughts are all jumbled up Anita, I have not been able to sleep well for some time now and find that its slowly wearing me down.