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Dear Ina:
I will aim at a “compassionate yet assertive, perspective” response to your thread: when your boyfriend is distressed, better perhaps that he withdraws, that is, take time out, be alone. It is not a good time to communicate as such leads to arguments. If “cold like an ice block” means that he withdraws angrily, that is he gives you the look that says: I am angry at you!- that is not the withdrawal I am suggesting. The withdrawal I am suggesting is that he takes responsibility for his distress and takes his alone time, not turning aggressively against you, passive-aggressively or aggressively.
When he is no longer distressed, that is time to communicate and spend together time. Even if such time is only twenty minutes per evening, let it be. Aim at quality, that is, safe, calm interactions and not at quantity, that is spending as much time interacting as possible.
anita