Dear Rox:

You are welcome. This childhood experience of being  unloved and unchosen (chosen last) is the experience you keep re-living in your relationships with men. There is nothing  unusual about it. It is quite usual really, that we  keep re-living our painful past. Reason is, that past is recorded in our brains and unlike shedding our skin, new skin growing  all the time, replacing  the old, we do not shed our brain.

You can’t  just  choose to leave  the past  in  the past because… it  is the same brain, you can’t replace it. The way to leave the past in the  past is to heal from it, to become aware of that experience, process those feelings of the child you were, resolve it somehow, through ongoing expression, awareness, and  over time you will be  able to sort of, peel off the past experience from the present experience and see things as they are, not as they were.

Quality psychotherapy can help with that. You can, if you’d like, share  more  about this unloved/chosen last experience  of your childhood.

anita