Dear Cali Chica:

In her most recent post on this thread, your sister expressed, if I understand correctly, that she welcomes, at this time, some micro-management, or just management by you. There are some areas in which you are more functional than she is, so maybe you can help her in those, if she is willing. But give her some space and express your increasing confidence in her, don’t overdo it, so that she will be able and willing to take in any valuable help that you can offer her.

Make sure that you allow her to help you as well. Because there are areas where she is more functional than you. Exchange help.

Your mother gave you a job: to make friends for her. This is probably a big reason why you ruminate so much about friends who may become distant from you, afraid to lose friends you made. You take this  job assigned to you by your mother very seriously.

Your mother wants you to make up for the lack she experienced before you were born. She is using you to get  unmet needs met. You of course needed your mother’s love and approval. What you received from her instead is a … job.

anita