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Reply To: How do I forgive him?

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#187625
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Hi, Anita (and also thanks to everyone for their replies.  I really appreciate them.)

I’m not really sure how to elaborate more on the fear of disapproval from my parents.  It’s always been there.  There’s never been a time in my life where I wasn’t trying to seek their praise.  I guess it evolved into a somewhat unhealthy obsession, perhaps?  I always took the hardest classes I could in primary school (AP, Dual Enrollment, Honors, etc.) and killed myself with 3-4 hours of sleep regularly to ensure I got the highest marks in all my classes.  It was this in combination with volunteering as often as I could and playing sports so I’d look “ideal” to universities and get scholarships.  I’m trying to develop much healthier habits now.  I stick to a routine; I exercise for stress relief.

As far as his therapy, he hasn’t shared anything with me and I don’t ask him to.  I assumed if he wants to share, he’ll tell me.  I’ve only been back here for five months, which isn’t a crazy amount of time.  But it certainly doesn’t feel like five months, either.  Maybe two months maximum is what it feels like.

I have speculations about why he exploded, but I’m not willing to be intrusive with what happens between his therapist and him.

Thanks again to everyone for their responses!