To me. I’m doing things because I have to until my end arrives. I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to hang out with people. I don’t want to go to the movies. I don’t want to go to the dog park. These are al things I do because I have to in order to survive. I feel like that’s all I’m doing. I just have to survive until it’s my time to go. I think oh “I should meditate.” But for what. What is the point. Most of the time I have no desire to even live. I don’t get the point of it. I find nothing in this life. To me, it’s something that is forced on me and I have to keep going. It’s interesting. I never understand why people are so adamant on not letting people take their own lives. Isn’t it their own choice ? And why do people think they have the right to tell someone to live. Why is living something we have to do. I have always been so confused by this but afraid to admit it. What about life is so amazing that people are being told to continue on. Because to me, I wake up everyday and it is the biggest struggle ever to get through. It’s like I’m in a cursed game and can’t get out or to the next level. Nothing is enjoyable. I only do things so time will pass