Dear Cali Chica:

We don’t know who our parents are when we are born to them, when we are children. There is no way for us to know. We need them to love us, take care of us. We need to feel safe with them. All we have are needs but no understanding.

To feel safe with your mother, you needed to know that your mother was pleased having you are in her life (and so, she will feed you and protect you and attend to you).

Instead she expressed dissatisfaction with you being in her life, her messages being: You caused me to lose my thin, no belly, no stretch mark body! You always cried, being a nuisance, and stopped me from doing what I wanted to do and going where I wanted to go! You are bothering me with your problems, ever since you were born crying! Go socialize; you are making me look bad!

We can see, Cali Chica, don’t we… how other people in the world are indeed dishonest, cruel… but we can’t imagine our mothers can be dishonest and cruel. No! It can’t be my mother!

Why not, why can it not be … my mother?

It is common too, people being dishonest and cruel. This explains why so many, many people are suffering. The fact that cruelty is normal doesn’t take away from the damage done to every individual exposed to cruelty.

Your parents were correct when they said: “ever since you were young you’ve always had a problem. You came out of the womb crying and you continue still”-

Ever since you were born you had a problem: you were born to them.

anita