Dear Happy in Page:

In your original post you share that your adult pregnant daughter has been verbally and emotionally abusive to you in the past 3 to 4 years and that she scares you. In your most recent post you shared that you yelled and screamed at her, throwing dishes on the floor and calling your daughter names. And that problems with your daughter started when she was about 12.

My mother too yelled and screamed at me when I was 12, before and after, destroying property during her explosions of rage, calling me names. Those were scary and painful experiences for me that greatly harmed me. There is nothing a girl wants more than to see her mother happy. To see one’s mother losing control, raging, punishing, is a very damaging experience for a child.

It would have meant a lot to me, if sometime along the way, during my adulthood, if not earlier, that my mother would express honest regret for having scared me so badly, hurt me so much.

My mother never expressed such regret. I wonder if you expressed such, to your daughter, if you are honestly regretful, that is, if such sincere regret can help improve your relationship with her…?

anita