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Adult daughter and my craziness

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  anita 4 days, 8 hours ago.

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  • #186181

    Happy in Page
    Participant

    Hi,

    My married pregnant daughter and her husband moved in about 3 months ago. I don’t even know how to act around them. I’m either mad at them or I’m feeling worthless and rejected. The only reason they live with me in my tiny house of 700 sq feet is because I’m the only family member that has room for them.  They’re 6 hours away from his family and her inlaws. My daughter has made it clear she prefers her inlaws and would rather be with them. My daughter is verbally and emotionally abusive and has been for about 3 or 4 years. She hints I should leave and leave them alone but it’s my home.

    I’m frustrated and unhappy so I’ve been telling everyone that will listen about my problems. Today I feel horrible and wish I hadn’t said anything to anybody but my counselor. If she discovered I’ve been talking about her to my friends she would hate me forever. This situation isn’t helping my struggles with personal acceptance and my self worth.

    My daugher received an inhertance of 40,000 last April. The money is gone. Yesterday she told me that she would prefer not to pay me the $300 monthly rent because it would make her finances easier. Seriously? My counselor tells me to stay neutral, to not lash out at her, and to setup healthy boundaries. But how? She scares me.

    #186191

    Meander
    Participant

    Wow I just have to say how wonderfully generous you are allowing your daughter to stay-especially with all the heartache that brings for you. You should feel really proud of all you are doing for your family!

    I think your feelings of frustration are totally understandable. It’s not selfish to think of your own needs-try not to let anyone take advantage of your generosity.

    #186291

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Happy in Page:

    I hope the situation for you improves and that you feel better soon.

    I was wondering: when did the troubles in the relationship with your daughter begin?

    Also, your counselor told you to “not lash out at her”. I suppose this means you are in the habit of lashing out at her, and if so, what does lashing out at her consists of: what do you say to her?

    anita

    #186293

    anita
    Participant

    * did not submit correctly…

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