Dear Happy in Page:

You naturally loved your mother, I have no doubt. And you daughter naturally loved you. Deep inside she still does. It was your betrayal of her love that has been fueling her anger.

However difficult your life circumstances have been, when she was a child, and you behaved aggressively toward her, you betrayed her love and trust in you.

You may know how it felt to her, how it feels, if you experienced something similar, having been betrayed by your own mother?

You wrote that you “still feel unloved and rejected”- I hope this gets corrected. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) when done effectively is effective in correcting the cognitive distortions you mentioned.

In the context of your relationship with your daughter- you had her full, undivided, uncompromised love, as the child that she was, and it is still a deep part of her. I suggest you don’t expect or demand or pressure her in any way to cause you to feel loved. She already did her best in that regard. How do I know? Because children do everything they can to reach out to a parent, with love.

anita