i’m in a similar situation. My boyfriend at the time ended the relationship after 12yrs because i could get into what you call a blinding rage.  My parents and my boyfriend at the time, felt like being around me was “walking on eggshells”. I was emotionally and sometimes even physically abusive towards my partner. I started to get help, got myself a counsellor to talk to and it wasn’t until close to the end of my limited 16 sessions that I realized everything I spoke about and the advices given to me i knew already. I would attempt to put them into practice but it never would work during my episodes.   I had enough talking with my counsellor because I would still fall into the same pattern.  Long story short, I got diagnosed with depression which manifested into anger.  I went on medication, took a few months to find the right dosage and finally am on the right track. My boyfriend at the time was happy that I was getting better, but was full of resentment as well. He left, it left me devastated. That was 3 weeks ago, I’m still grieving but I’m left with not knowing who I am as well.

My whole life I had this depression and I never really knew who I was without this anger inside me.  My parents aren’t as supportive with the break up or as understanding with giving me time to grieve. I feel alone, I have friends to talk to but you can only talk so much.

I’m upset with myself for allowing this depression to take away so many years of my life (I’m 33, female) and my relationship of 12 yrs.  I’m scared. I’m on my own, and I don’t know who I am.

I just wanted to share my story as reading yours helped me realized that I’m not alone and either are you.

Good luck on your journey, as I have hope for myself and you.