Dear Brenin:

I think time apart is a good idea, as a matter of fact I think its a great idea.  You sound like a people pleaser and sometimes we lose ourselves.  If moving out is not an option – why not move your things clothes, toiletries, and all into another bedroom – spend some time living together but apart – and I also think it would be a good idea to practice celibacy with your wife while you are “living apart” .  I did this for 6 months, we set ground rules about meals, household chores, and time with the kids just like we were separated only under the same roof –  and surprisingly it saved my marriage completely.  This scenario could put your wife in a position to realize that your feelings are not fleeting, this will strengthen your stance and increase your self-esteem.  Additionally, it will make your wife appreciate you and your relationship, perhaps causing her to realize that she must bend also in order to meet your wants and needs.   If you once loved her, truly loved her, you can get that back and better than before but you have to gain some ground and then stand it.  It could work for you too – Best of luck my friend.

Erin