So I’m coming to terms with what I want and need. I’ve spent time with close friends and connected with them again through common interests. I’m realizing that I can be myself with them, and I feel re-energized – like a new person. I can laugh, I can be real.

Last night I was at a good buddy of mine’s house, with him and his wife. We were having a good time, it was late so I crashed. I had called my daughter to say goodnight, and informed my wife I’d be staying. When it got late, I said I’d be crashing as I’d been drinking and it was late. Her response was ‘For real?’ followed by ‘I’ll come get you.’ When I said no, I’ll be home in the morning to get the kids ready for school, it was ‘k’. Nothing else.

In the morning, I came home and my daughter was sad. She was sad cause her mother was sad. It made me feel extremely guilty for taking time to myself. I tried to explain to my daughter that Daddy needs to have fun too, but because it makes Mommy sad that I’m away, she emulates.

My daughter is taking this extremely difficult. I’m taking steps to include her in things, and make her part of my world so she feels included. It kills me that she thinks miss needs to be associated with sad. I encouraged her to feel excited to see me again, not sad cause I’m away.