looking4hope,

Good for you for taking care of yourself, your self-awareness about your condition and behavior, your thoughtful view about how you got your behaviors from and for your ex-partner’s history and how it affected him.  I am quite impressed.

I am sorry for your pain.  Time is a healer pus being able to learn and look forward will help.

I am a believer in feeling into those uncomfortable and painful feelings rather than push them away in order to get through such things better so feel OK to actually cry with no judgment.

I seek out close friend support whenever I struggle with certain things.  It is better not to feel alone.  I recommend that.  Sometimes all you need is a long, close hug and/or someone just to hold your hand and listen to you without saying anything.

Take care,

Mark