Hi, Mark. I appreciate your kind advice again. I fear that if I ever were to show people what I actually feel at the moment, it would not go over very well. I have a lot of anxiety and apprehension, though, I am trying my very best to keep this contained.

I want to have the aura of being confident and self-assured, not afraid to try new things, but in the back of my head, I can only think that this is a façade, that in reality, I don’t feel very confident or self-assured at all- I literally don’t have a single clue what I am doing, and am just throwing myself at a bunch of things to feel like I belong to something.

I know that probably seems very ungenuine, but it’s how I feel.

The thing that makes me feel even more like a fraud is that I can literally help anyone get just about anything they want, and I take a lot of joy in doing that, but I don’t know how to get anything I want. I’m not even sure what I want.

As far as the intimacy, I have a hard time developing a deep and loving connection with other people. A lot of them just seem very distant to me. Perhaps what it comes down to is that I haven’t met the right person yet.