Dear calisister:

A retreat sounds good to me, being around people, there is comfort in it, if they all gather for the purpose of relaxing, with good guidance, absolutely a good idea.

Your intent is excellent, again. Thing is, I cannot reach into your brain and calm it. So as you face the questions and anxiety, your brain is automatically going to the fastest solution of the new distress, doubting your plan to take a break, I imagine.

Be very gentle with yourself at this time. Look in the mirror, look in your eyes: can you do this? If you can’t, maybe later on you will be able to. You don’t have to. I will not be disappointed. I will understand.

Can you do it this time, do you have what it takes, at this time? Maybe you do. That would be so exciting, for me at least, if you do. If you do, it will be you believing that you can survive this healing process, that it will get you to a better place. It is a matter of faith. You need to believe in it so to endure the distress that goes with it.

anita