Joyce,

This is what people call “baggage.”  Our past is part of us.  Relationships gives us the opportunity to grow and heal from them.

When you said you feel like you are so damaged and it shouldn’t be his job to fix you then how are you fixing them yourself?  Are you getting help like with a therapist/counselor?  It will benefit you to understand why you were with your ex for so long, why you chose to be with a controlling man.  This way you can heal.

Mark