I am sorry I ever started this post. It was wrong of me. It was my ego speaking.

I again received energies into my body yesterday (supermoon?) and they left me feeling quite ill. My ego self reacted very badly and became very angry. I’ll be honest, my ego seems to despise God. Perhaps I have been punished with ill-health all my life because I rebelled in another realm. Who knows?

I came across the Lamentations of Jeremiah this morning. Some things struck a chord with me. He says: “From on high he sent fire; into my bones he made it descend; [] he has left me stunned, faint all the day long”. This was a perfect description of what occurred yesterday. I was burning inside, and nothing would touch it. I drank lots of milk to try to quench the burning, but to no avail. I felt very weak and faint and I had to go and lie down. One thing that does concern me is that the energies seem to be damaging my eyesight.

So at times I tend to lash out on this forum. If I didn’t vent on here, I would vent at my family, and then the whole thing would come out and they would become angry or frightened. It might do irreversible damage to family relations. And I don’t know why it’s happened to me, and I think it is best contained within the confines of an enclosed order, because they have the support structure in place. Because as Jeremiah laments, God doesn’t really help. He throws you in the deep end and you have to learn to swim! I bet there are lots of people who have gone through this and have simply ended their own lives, because it is basically PTSD x 100! I have gained incredible knowledge though, and I find that part utterly fascinating, being a ‘bookish’ type.

I am very sorry for my rant.

Best wishes,

Tannhauser.