Thanks for the reply Anita. I would definitely describe myself as a reserved, calm and consistent guy.  My friends do describe as being a bit like vanilla – not very exciting! I’m an emergency services worker and I naturally try to rescue or support people. With my ex’s anxiety she never fully opened up to me with how bad it was but I was her rock and kind to her. It reassured me so much when she told me trusted me.

I’ve read up a lot on relationship styles and feel like she was anxious avoidant.She needed those overt and continued acts of passion to reassure her. My personality wasn’t naturally disposed to that. Maybe as she got older she wanted something different from a relationship