Dear crawford:

You are welcome.

No chat rooms for me, but if you would like to keep talking here, it will be fine with me. A correction: I didn’t suggest you get to know your father better so to resolve this conflict you are having. I suggested exploring your relationship with one or two of your parents or with a caretaker you had as a child, perhaps an older sibling.

I think that to do the right thing, let your ex girlfriend know in no uncertain terms that you are not available for a relationship with her. And that you stop discussing this issue with all the people you have, discussions that clearly did not bring you any closer to a resolution.

And then, I suggest that you stop wanting a resolution so badly. As long as your ex girlfriend is no longer waiting for you to re-start a relationship, at least as long as you let her know in no uncertain terms that she shouldn’t be waiting.. as long as no one is waiting and no one is confusing or getting confused by you (which won’t happen if you stop discussing the issue)- what is the rush?

Back to childhood relationships with a parent/ care taker- if you would like to share here any information that might be relevant to you not feeling intimacy with a man- or a woman, I will read and reply.

anita