Anita,

I do all these things.  It is seeming futile if it just comes back.  Kind of like why take a bath when you just get dirty again.  That is how I’m feeling right now.  I have tons of time to think, and so I do just that.  I feel I need to to get to the bottom root of what is so scary to me about health issues, and being alone.  How I’m gonna survive in retirement without a second person/income.  I can’t stop trying to figure myself out.  Stopping sounds ridiculous, and like giving up on myself.  That causes anxiety as well!.