Dear Buddha Buddy:

You are welcome, and yes, I am married.

Learning “how to love her without her being  here”- yes, I do have a suggestion which is based on my overall feel I have having read your posts. My feel is that throughout the relationship with her, you communicated to her indirectly, if not directly, that she is inadequate as a person and therefore is in great  need of your help. Maybe you said positive things to her in addition to the you-are-inadequate message you sent her, positive statements that did not cancel the message. And I think she got tired of that message.

This is my feel of the situation and I may be wrong.

If I am correct, then to love her now while not living with her, figure out if indeed you can or want  to approve of her for who she is, if you can accept her as adequate. If you can and want to, then communicate to her a new message.

anita