Livy,

I agree with anita about you owning your feelings and behaviors.  You say it kills him that he is making you sad, that sometimes he does not want to come home and that you are tired of forgiving him.  Plus you are the one who is looking for solutions to his lack of sexual interest.

The problem between you two is that this is not a sexual relationship and he has no interest in changing that.  You cannot make him do anything.  He has made his choice not wanting sex.  I cannot guess what would be the underlying reasons why but I certainly would think it has nothing to do with you.

He knows what the issue is.  You made it very clear to him what that is and how that is affecting you and the relationship.  The burden of responsibility lies on his shoulders.  It is up to you to deal with his decision to not work on resolving his lack of sexual interest.  It is not up to you to fix him.

It is up to you to decide if you want to stay in a non-sexual, platonic relationship.

Mark