I see what your saying, sometimes I do find myself in thought wondering what my limit is, and is it him that pushes me there?

The one thing that really did catch my eye within your post was you said you searched “Is he good for me” I find myself in thoughts of constantly trying to differentiate between “someone who is good to me..someone who is good for me”?

I still have no answer to that.

I was recently watching this Oprah interview with her and Reese Witherspoon and they talked about basically the levels in which you allow your lines to be crossed just because a person doesn’t physically do something to you.

Sometimes I do feel like I allow him to bring me out of character because what he does is tapping on over the line. Sometimes I do feel like I say sorry more than I really should or have to chock up a grievance of mine up as a loss to just keep the piece.

Another thing you said was about how you were so focused on fixing the two of you that you no longer had energy to consistently focusing on yourself.

He has asked me, what would I do if I didn’t have to project my energy towards us. I told him in half a second no hesitation; my health.

I gained a lot of weight and its not that I can’t lose weight and live a health lifestyle with him. Its just that I need a consistent positive environment to produce change. His wishy washy moodiness stifles that. Because I care for him so I absorb his mood and usually he is mean when he’s mad so that usually ends up making me upset, angry, what ever and I no longer can focus on what I need to have a efficient complete day. Like if for 2-3 days straight you are eating healthy, getting in your water, enough sleep, good sleep, no stress, then BOOM he’s mad on Thursday he manages to drag it out long enough that when you get home now you don’t want to cook. Or you argue for hours now its 12am and you don’t get enough sleep. Or even just the general stress that comes with waking up in the space of someone with a attitude.

Thats a very frustrating quality: How dedicated he is to staying upset. Or at least that is what it seems like to me.

In my head I literally don’t have the time to stay mad over an hour…2 tops. But he can literally stay mad for days if I let him.

In our relationship I would say of 100%

35-40% conflict (down from 60-55%) and of that 35-40%  I would say 80% of that are things he is upset about.

With his 80% I would say only about 30% of the time he will say what you did to actually upset him.

Overall, typing this his communication level is just novice. He literally says “Talking doesn’t solve anything/ Talking doesn’t mean anything/ Words mean nothing” etc.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by Jenny Lynn.