Okay yeah I understand.

Anita…….

I think you have a pretty good understanding of my logic. SO! the fact that you think me and Glen are compatible is great and he is ok and I am ok is also GREAT. I am glad that a person who I can speak openly with knows the majority of issues we have & can leave me with an optimistic opinion on that topic.

But what if…I hadn’t told you everything he does….

I don’t want this share to seem like self sabotage…”Like do you want him cuz its seems like your trying to find a reason to keep talking about it or him”

I just  want to be honest, so that your opinion is actually backed by what really goes on. Because even though I read your opinion like “yeah that’s great” in the back of my mind I think well would that change if she knew ____. Its like If I speak it into existence and you tell me something I don’t want to hear…Then it will be true and it will be that; immediately I will be responsible for the position I am in.

I don’t know… its scary. But its scarier to feel like I don’t know what is “Ok” or I cannot decipher it thru him.

I would like to tell you these couple of other things that Glen does. I would hope you would say that you still feel the same way about it or give me some insight on ur opinion about them…but I am fearful that you will say, what I say is not okay and I have either absorb that and live with that or do something about it.