Dear abubin:

You are welcome. You asked for advice on whether you should speak to Debbie now or after you fly to see her in person. Of the two choices I think it is better that you talk to her now, so that maybe, just maybe it will save you the money to fly and see her. Maybe something will be resolved in communication before seeing her in person.

I understand that your relationship with your wife is not good. I wish it could be healed, but if it is not, I hope the two of you will co parent well, for the sake of your child.

Your wife and Debbie are not the only women in the world, your only chances for love. I am not recommending that you look for a third woman at this time, only suggesting that if you do look at reality as it is, you don’t have to compromise reality so to fit Debbie into your life.

In other words, if she claims something that is not true, it is okay for you to challenge it.

anita