Plotinus,

I can relate to your frustration, disenchantment and worry with your journey in finding meaningful work, a place in society, a path to something more fulfilling and economically practical.

It sounds like you really like to think deep and theoretically and ponder life’s higher questions from your interest in theology and classical languages.

You toying with the idea of going into a monastery may be a good way to go since this type of life and orientation seems more aligned with those things you are drawn to.

I believe that your abbey retreat is a good start to have that time and environment to ponder.  I recommend do not go into that experience with an specific outcome in mind.  I would just be in the moment-to-moment experience and notice what comes up from that.  Let go of expectations and “goals.”

Mark