Dear Tom:

At this point I think that when she expressed to you before that the two of you can be friends, while she is engaged in a relationship with the father of her baby, she was not realistic. I don’t think such a friendship is doable because the two of you have intimate history, because you are not friends with the father of her baby  a friend of them as a couple), because you are still attached to her as that special, intimate person that she was for you…because of all these, a friendship with her individually is not doable.

Therefore I think best that you send nothing at all to her, that if she sends you a message respond to it with a short, polite manner and nothing else. That is, for as long as she is in the present circumstance.

If it helps you, sending her a message to let her know that such a friendship is not doable, explain why (what is true to you) and that you prefer there to be no contact, you can do that.

anita