1) It does not matter who started the relationship.  In my last one, I was the one who made a move on him, and I didn’t regret it at all, it was great. Some men are indecisive, and there is nothing wrong with the woman making the first step, it is empowering. He wouldn’t have gone for it, let alone stick around for 5 years and get engaged to you if he didn’t want it.

2) However, what ruined that relationship for me was precisely my own doubts and insecurity. My preceding experience was emotionally abusive one, so I was still reeling from it, conditioned to look out for “red flags”, and very hypervigilant, always afraid that I’d be abandoned or unloved. When our long-distance phase started, his inability to keep in touch as often as before to me looked like cooling down (which it wasn’t), and I kept lashing out, eventually frustrating him, and with one particularly bad accusational email, things broke beyond repair.  I really wish I had more faith and been more positive.