Dear Anita

What I wanted to ask you is: did knowing all this help you at some point? Did it give you any relief or progress, improving? I know you told me before it calmed your anger.

I must say it gives me, a little bit. Because as you said I’m not an unsatisfactory person. I had a misfortune to be a child of a person who expressed her anger on me. All the things she pointed out to me now I’m starting to revalue and review again. In the past when she told me for example: why did you put this *something* in here? why do you always. why are you like that.when will you ever learn to.how many times do I have to tell you (again those questions regarding only one situation of putting something in wrong place) and after that not speaking to me for a day or two as a punishment for a kind of person that I am, I used to cry and self harm, and be miserable. Now I sometimes tell a friend about it but mostly I’m just: okay, going on with my life, I have nothing to do with this, can’t do anything about it. I once told her: well this is the way I do things, different than you, doesn’t mean it’s worse, I just don’t follow your rules to do this and that because I have my own already. It gave me some freedom. I plan to always do this and speak my mind. What do you think about confronting such a person, is not contacting better in a way it’s more like giving up and letting go? Is confronting a waste of energy (expressing anger – in a bad way) or is it a way of dealing and closure?