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Hi Matt,
Glad to know that you have started to work on it and it has started to work on you :).
But if you still have doubts after reading the links then to answer your questions-
“Am I apologizing to myself for not being able to forgive? “
Yes. You are taking responsibility for even thinking those thoughts of unforgiveness towards your mother. In reality neither you nor your other has done anything wrong. As stated in my earlier posts everyone is behaving exactly as they are supposed to behave depending on their own thoughts, feelings, emotions, belief systems, upbringing, etc. Everything is happening exactly as it should have happened. (for eg; who knows probably this situation has come to you to turn off your logical mind and become more spiritual which will help you in leading your future life. Nobody knows except Life itself.) Or may be it was your karma, destiny, fate to undergo this.
You need not worry much as to whom you are asking to forgive you. It is upto you. If you have a God figure in your life then you can go ahead and ask God. Or ask Life or The Universe. Or simply chanting to nobody all by yourself just like involuntarily chanting the alphabets A to Z. Hardly matters. You can even think of your mother in your head when chanting. Your intent to forgive your mother is enough to activate the Universal Law Of Intention. That will do the rest.
I’ve tried repeating it a few times and I feel something, but will it help me forgive my mother?
Yes definitely. Not only it will bring you forgiveness towards your mother but will also bring more love within you and begin to change other areas of your life as well. If you do it diligently you may even notice a positive change in your mother’s behaviour towards you or your behaviour towards your mother.
You want to be free of the emotions of anger and resentment towards your mother and that is what this is going to do.
Yes I agree it is sometimes difficult to not think logically and analytically. But I wish life was so easy and things were in our control all the time.
Do the practice continously and diligently and watch the changes happening in your thinking and in your life.
Take care,
VJ