Dear joanna:

We started talking about your mother about Feb 9, ten days ago. You wrote on that day: “So it’s my hidden anger to my mother and many many more emotions which I can’t even name and that are so inconvenient, as we talked about earlier right? Truth is always inconvenient”-

We explored that truth since. In your latest post yesterday, you did what I did countless of times, what most people do most of the time: move away from that inconvenient truth, leave it behind and continue living the same as before.

You wrote in your recent post: “Cutting contact would be best…But right now I guess it’s not possible, maybe (later)… So I have to deal with her… I can’t escape people…But I can learn to not affect me… Anyway it is what it is.”

You feel that you have no choice but to live with your mother, that you can’t escape your tormentor- that was your reality as a child. You feel now that this very reality is the same for you.  And so, you resolve to not let her affect you.

If it was possible for you to not be affected by her, you would have accomplished this a long time ago. You can survive her as you did so far in your life, but angrily, anxiously and …not well.

The purpose of discovering the truth is to not escape it but instead, make changes in our minds  and lives so to fit that truth. A different life is possible for you if you don’t turn away from the truth. It will not be easy to make the changes needed, therefore you may need quality psychotherapy so to further believe in what is true, to correct the core beliefs inflicted on you by your mother,

and to make changes in your life, little by little, one step at a time.

anita