Dear joanna:

No doubt in my mind that not living with your mother and not being exposed to her in any context is good for your well-being. There is no way for you to not be affected negatively by her.

I also know that if and when you move out, if and when you do end all contact with her, life will not be easy for you, not for a long time. The harm she inflicted on you already happened and the healing process will be long after there is no more contact.

I wish it could be easy. I really do wish it could. But reality doesn’t accommodate wishing.

anita